There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
