Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
where are my eyebrows?
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