Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
