no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
