we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
