...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
