feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
