Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
