What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just had sex on a roof
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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