Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize