Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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