She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
