I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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