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• (209): View more from California

  HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.

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• (646): View more from New York

  in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life

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• (518): View more from New York

  All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  He literally knows my vagina better then I do.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  that is very illegal...i love you.

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