I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize