my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
