He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
