haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
