Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
