So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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