new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
