Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
