Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
