hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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