maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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