I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
