porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
