I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize