one might say we're banned from that church
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
