i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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