ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
