batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
