Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
