There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
