Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
