how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
