The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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