Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
