You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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