dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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