she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
