escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
