this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
