so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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