You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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