i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
are you so shy because you have an std?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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