Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
