i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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