so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
