We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
